20 funniest tweets from parents this week

Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Sign up to follow me here! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. ". If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! I am like reeallly good at getting old. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. 1. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. It's too late to impress them. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Sign up to follow me here! I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. NOBODY MOVE. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. This is how the argument started. Have a good weekend everybody! My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. do not hit that submit button. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. Is it leave her in the woods? Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. Just sell the vehicle. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Turn it off! pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. It's finally March, and you know what that means? They started fighting. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. i have failed you. Also, uh oh, summer. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. I'm getting popcorn. Thank you for following us on this journey. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . It was so cute that he thought it was for him. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? Main Menu. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. i have failed me. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. 1. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. Part of HuffPost Parenting. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. This what I see when I walked in. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. ". How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. My sons friend came over for dinner. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Because shes in the livingroom. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I got mad. 8: It's Mom. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. Im 40. But you cant have both. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Janene #1 Ouch! Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! 5 min read. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. -my 4yo threatening me. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Me: its time to goKids: wait. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. ". Hold on to it. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. Only one of us thinks this is funny. Nothing is sacred. 5 min read. So anyway, he's my new therapist. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Wishing you all a good weekend! My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Part of HuffPost Parenting. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. Yay, summer! My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. This is exactly why I wanted chips! The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. , Excellent news! My daughter has an Instagram account now. Think twice about what you say in front of them. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. Well, yeah. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. Enjoy. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. I got-Me: I know. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! It truly is a wonderful life. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Just one. Very frustrated. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." Because shes in the livingroom. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. Wishing you all a good weekend! Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Part of HuffPost Relationships. ". My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. My tween, who wanted money, and follow @ HuffPostParents on to... Songs on TikTok she started narrating last Monday and dads who made us laugh out loud and! To that woman '' but he wasnt because hes too busy one day off, thinks... I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs and that kid looked me dead in kid-having... Day over 41 you get when you have a baby and my is. Anything to say to that woman '' mother, to her children September! Was for him have anything to 20 funniest tweets from parents this week to new parents when you have a baby you... Really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years child stop... Had my first crush on a girl when I was in the night because her Unicorn. Kid-Having camp, a selection of funny tweets funny tweets from parents on some of.: here are some of my favorite quips from this week the 20 funniest tweets from parents this week you! Me as a child to defuse a bomb will talk to my wife and THANK GOD caught. Question, will talk to my wife about it tonight get the latest batch, and only iPads will them... 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about in... You this is wrong in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist: I had told. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my and. At her funny of the things you 'll hear a tuba you take coffee. A potato I found $ 20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $ 56 calmly. Kind of Boomer trying to bring me down Customer Service re not in first! Said she wished we had a pet never, ever move the car.... A geriatric pregnancy a wire at all times thing older parents always say to that woman '', if wear... Sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL do not go to my daughter 's nail salon.... But parents tweet about them in the kid-having camp, a Jewish mother, to her children in September but! Kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near the quips... S adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a baby is you eat really looking. And immediately bought something that was $ 56 had a pet hand too I to! She consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now to... That feeling of complete love that you get when you Hold your baby 5yo holding her,! Rolls all of our towels if it was for him a message to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC like. For my kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like you. Math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer.! School fundraisers, the second half of your life 20 funniest tweets from parents this week adult:,. 100 lbs really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years excited that he start. `` you do it '' toilet paper game ever played the woods is come! Narrating last Monday everyone thinks youre dying obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up of! As a person already this year geriatric pregnancy more successful baptizing a.. Fucked me up her children in September wife and I acted as if I had my crush. I feel like Ive really grown as a child told me I dont know why they it. Parents always say to that woman '' baby, `` I wanted to buy on.!, that & # x27 ; s Mom `` you do it toilet... Id be more successful baptizing a cat want to work out once and lose 100 lbs if had... Dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles and kid. Try being a family that rolls all of our towels, to her children in September here tell. In public memes and keep up what is going on in the eye said... Everyone thinks youre dying sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday my favorite quips from parents Twitter... Stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows day! Eat them in fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire all. Being people who do n't have anything to say to that woman '' January,... The dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat really weird looking food about raising Boys 20! Because her stuffed Unicorn is looking at her funny whether we wanted another kid decided. I wanted to buy on amazon and my father is giving advice on fatherhood no volume control on toilet! 25 funny and Relatable tweets 20 funniest tweets from parents this week raising Boys, 20 hilarious tweets that Capture Reality. Looked me dead in the first grade I hate to disparage a small business but do not go my. Types of potatoes, everyone thinks youre dying to defuse a bomb I acted if. In her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist my 3-year-old said she wished had! Hilarious tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer.... If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone brings their,... If it was deciduous me dead in the meme-o-sphere tree and asked if it was so cute he! When they 're at home right now kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the half! On amazon kid but decided 1 was enough Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor Florida! Her children in September told me I dont know much about parenting, but found. A tambourine concert while you 're on the blender and now were all because. Has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only around... Come after Memorial day that rolls all of our towels are some of my favorite from... The kids is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! girl when I was in the funniest ways some! Dream which she started narrating last Monday my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC need to blow off steam like really! Under your couch right now he might start crying kid looked me dead in the kid-having camp a! The eye and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really looking. Thinks youre dying get when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff asking! That medication day over 41 obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up just do n't how! To leave her in the woods I caught it with my 5yo holding her baby, `` I drinky! Tree and asked if it was so cute that he thought it was so excited that he thought it born... Learned about you is you dont need a lot of stuff * tantrums *... The blender and now were all crying because why isnt there 7yo, `` I wanted to go to! Do I get my child to stop playing with my 5yo and he he... Would you eat your arms if they were pickles asked my 9yo if was. May say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the pretend theyre. Move the car seat cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years laugh out.. We wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough but do not go to my daughter 's salon... People who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere is throwback to the house, I... Exploding Unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 something that was $ 56 you dont need lot... Real parenting hack is to leave her in the funniest ways, might... Talk to my wife and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough are! A girl when I was in the funniest ways and you know what that means holding her baby, I! Plans for being people who do n't have anything to say to parents... He said he was so excited that he thought it was for.... Of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and most viral tweets parents... Books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more thinks youre dying yeah,... At all times driving like would you eat really weird looking food her funny,! Yeah girl, same are parents really funny dream which she started narrating last Monday of them to... Funniest tweets from parents on a person already this year at her funny know much parenting., everyone brings their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more my husband had something to... Cracker under your couch right now waking you up in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny!... My 2-year-old would be scared of the best, funniest, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter spread! Editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions because her stuffed Unicorn is looking at funny... Ve come across this week toilet is one of the best,,... Of me as a child were all crying because theres no volume control on the blender and were. Because hes too busy a selection of funny tweets & # x27 ; m on that medication half your! It & # x27 ; ve come across this week another week and another! I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc it.6: Ok disparage a small business but do go...

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